Friday, 27 March 2015

Marae evaluation

Writing sample

  It's not a bird it's not a plane but it's Sally the super dog. Watch out if your bad she will get you and whack you with her super tail. Her paws are as strong as titinium. Her mask and cape are bright pink. Even though Sally the super-dog has titinium paws to punch bad people with but she is the most kind hearted dog you have ever meet. Sally loves the environment and she we'll help anyone in need of help. She is a German Shepard she wears a pink mask and cape her ears are pointy like the tips of a knife. I am glad Sally is here.  “Characters”
Purpose: To describe an interesting character so we can tell a story about them at the Marae stay.
WALT: Entertain (character description)
Think of a character you could write about.
Draw them.  
Introduce your character in an entertaining way.
Describe their looks.  
Describe their personality.  
I think/feel statement (Conclusion / Summary)

Criteria: I can
Self Assessment

Descriptive vocabulary (words that help to SHOW the reader)
  • use a range of verbs
Language features (phrases that help paint a picture)
  • select one or two similes
  • use onomatopoeia to show sounds
  • select words that start with the same sound (alliteration)
My writing is 2-3 paragraphs (100 - 200 words)

Learning Partner Comment
Feedback: I love the way you made me and excited about what was going to happen next.

Feedforward: next time add more language features 
Name: Emily


Thursday, 26 March 2015

My made up story

Once upon a time there lived a dog called Sally the super dog. one morning Sally got woken up by a teerrible scream she looked out the door and saw someone getting attacked so she ran as fast as she could and then she jumped on the robber. She grabbed the hand bag of the the robber called the police and they came immediately. Then the police came and gave Sally a cheek of one million dollars. After that Sally found the old lady and gave back here purse and the robber ended up in jail. THE END!!!!!

I think I did well making the pictures clear so the can understand them.
Next time I could put more juicy words to make the reader excited.

Welcome to my blog

WALT Inform (entertaining and persuading our audience to visit our blog)

- welcome to our blog!
- show pictures of some of your learning (butterflies etc.)
- who are you friends?
- things you like (paper planes!)
- places we like to play
-  I need to make it 45seconds
- music
- clear video
-  I had smooth camera action
- talking about interests 
- in an interesting way
- using interesting camera angles
- action
-  I talked about learning

I think I did well because I inncluded every thing very well.
I think I need to work on having a clearer voice.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Swimming backstroke

How am I going?

What am I doing well?
I can... Point my toes and put my arm past my ear.
What do I need to work on?
I need to work on keep on going until I reach the end.